


Why with him and not with me?

by Bl4ckHunter



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:07:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29782785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bl4ckHunter/pseuds/Bl4ckHunter
Summary: One-shot story. Crack fic. This is how Riley reacts upon hearing about Buffy's and Spike's intimate moments. Not for fans of Riley Finn.
Relationships: Angel/Cordelia Chase, Buffy Summers/Riley Finn (past), Spike/Buffy Summers
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	Why with him and not with me?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aragorn_II_Elessar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragorn_II_Elessar/gifts), [Stand_with_Ward_and_Queen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stand_with_Ward_and_Queen/gifts).



> So, another one today after 'Night of rough love' with Flash/Supergirl sex and Iris getting a meltdown.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Buffyverse.

Few months after they had met the last time, Riley came to visit Buffy and the Scoobies again as they talked in the Magic Box and they filled him in on the recent events, which were surprising, to say the least.

"So, you're telling me Spike has a soul now and is like Angel." Riley said.

"That's right." Buffy said as Riley and Spike shared stares with narrowed eyes, with Riley tempted to beat Spike up, due to his inferiority complex, but he was in no mood to be in Buffy's or Sam's bad graces and Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya and Dawn shifted, measuring how far they were from the door in case of a fight.

"So… you're good now?" Sam asked.

"As well as I can be. I'm trying to be better but if you try to stab me again with a plastic—" Spike started.

"That was just one time and it was just a warning." Riley said before Buffy grabbed him and dragged him away.

"Riley, he's good now." Buffy assured.

"Are you sure?" Riley asked. "I heard he tried to rape you."

Buffy seethed and clenched her fist, burying her nails deep into her skin that it would almost bleed and made a mental note to give a verbal to Xander and Dawn.

"He's not like that anymore. He has a soul." Buffy said and Riley, after some consideration, nodded and reluctantly, decided to let go of his grudge with Spike… for now.

"And I heard that you two had it rough one time and tore down a building. Is it true?" Riley asked and Buffy blushed and that was the answer he needed as he sighed. "Never mind, I know what I wanted to know."

"Riley—"

"No, I'm good. Really. I'm good." Riley said quickly. "I'm not gonna do anything stupid like go to vampire whores or take steroids again, don't worry, I promise." He gave Buffy a pleading look and kept a straight face. Buffy was skeptical but decided to trust him as he left.

"You don't think he's going to do anything stupid like going to visit the vampire whores again, do you?" Dawn asked, when Riley and Sam had left.

"If he did, I'm sure Sam is going to break his bones and he's not stupid enough to risk that… I think." Buffy said but deep down, her, Spike and the Scoobies wondered what Riley might do, while Buffy shot Xander and Dawn a glare as they squirmed, realizing they were in for a verbal.

* * *

"Riley, are you coming?" Sam asked, when waiting at the car.

"Just give me a minute." Riley said as he went into the back alley, where were piles of garbage.

Next thing Sam knew and what the Scoobies heard from outside the shop in the alley, were Riley's screams and smashing.

"NOO! NOO! HOW CAN SHE DO IT WITH HIM BUT NOT WITH ME? AAAAGH! WHY?! WHY, BUFFY, WHY?! AAAGH!" The smashing noises and Riley's screams could compare to screams of pain from Tom & Jerry cartoon as Sam waited patiently and looked at her watch, while Riley's tantrum continued for a few minutes and in the shop, Buffy, Dawn, Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya and Spike shared amused smirks. "STEROIDS, NO! VAMPIRE WHORES, NO! HOW CAN I—UAAGHRAAAA! STUPID, RILEY, STUPID!"

The rant echoed through the whole Sunnydale and beyond.

* * *

In Hyperion Hotel in L.A., Angel and Cordelia were talking in the reception, with Angel trying to help her remember, when he looked outside, hearing something familiar but faint.

"Is everything OK, Angel?" Cordelia asked.

"I just thought I heard something… familiar." Angel said. It almost sounded like… no, he may be pathetic but he couldn't be so pathetic he would scream out loud, could he? He shook his head in denial and chuckled in amusement. If it really was Riley, Angel wondered what could Buffy see in that pathetic whining moron. He started to snicker in amusement, much to Cordelia's confusion.

"What?" Cordelia asked.

"I'll tell you later." Angel said. He needed to confirm from Buffy first, if it was who he thought it was, but if it was Riley, well, Cordelia and Wesley would sure get a laugh later.

* * *

"I'M SO STUPID AND SELFISH AND PATHETIC, SHOULD NEVER HAVE GIVEN HER THE ULTIMATUM! DAMN IT, DAMN ME, DAMN THOSE WHORES! AAAAAAAGH!" Riley exploded, grabbing himself by his hair as if he wanted to rip them off as they heard more smashing and Sam looked at her watch before Riley emerged from the alley with roughened hair and entered, panting out in exhaustion as if he had just finished a marathon.

"You done?" Sam asked.

"I'm good." Riley said, taking a deep breath as he drove off, while Sam looked at the watch impressed. Fifteen minutes of ranting and tantrum over Buffy. Huh.

As they drove off, hysterical laughter exploded inside the Magic Box.

"Oh, my God, he's so unbelievable!" Xander laughed as he held himself by his stomach and bent down.

"He's even more pathetic than I remember!" Spike blushed from how hard he was laughing as he banged the counter.

"He wouldn't leave the room, when I wanted to talk with Angel alone, when he came back into Sunnydale, so we left the room, leaving Riley alone in there!" Buffy remembered as the laughter increased, all the Scoobies laughing hard from how much more pathetic Riley had become before there were sounds of smacking as Xander and Dawn moaned in pain.

"Ow!"

"Yeaough!"

"Stay out of my sex life and next time you run your mouths like that, it's gonna be a lot worse!" Buffy sneered and Xander and Dawn could feel themselves shrink upon meeting her glare, while holding themselves by their reddened cheeks, the mark of Buffy's hand on it.

**Author's Note:**

> I just thought this would be fun to do and couldn't resist Angel's reaction as well, and Riley would surely be pathetic enough to whine like that.
> 
> So, what do you guys think?
> 
> Please review and let me know if you have enjoyed this one-shot.
> 
> With regards
> 
> Bl4ckHunter


End file.
